Today i viewed back the blog where it's only belong to me and him...feel extremely sad and i wonder why i still digging out the sadness inside me..release my emotion maybe haha...i would never forget the support he gave last time and it's really motivated me...each word he said is just so precious as i wouldnt able to listen it now...i would never forget the moment we spent together last time but it had become history....
today is 1st of Feb meaning tomorrow's 2nd of February..this used to be a special moment for both of us but somehow it dont seem to be important to anyone anymore.Personally i feel so sad because we are not able to make through to the 3rd year and therefore, i hope this day wouldn't come.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Prisoner Dilemma
Have u guys ever heard of Prisoner Dilemma erm i think in Peoples and Organization subject??i think we learn before...before this is feel this theory is so lame and some question appeared in my mind "Why should we learn what prisoner think when they face the situations?" but now i realize it is applicable in our real life..although im not so sure if my application was correct but that how i think hoho
First scenario, I waited for him for years for him to back to my side,however he fall in love with another pretty girl and get married, by that time, my skin is suffering from skin aging,wrinkles,white hairs and etc.So nobody wants me and i need to go ShaoLin Temple to become nun and be a vegetarian for the rest of my life or Become a successful business woman,owned few trillions but live without love from the husband or sons/daughters *sooo dull*
Second scenario, he made up for his Master/Degree but I'm falling for another guys and got married.However his situations would be much better than mine because when a guy have few millions,there will be lots of pretty girls range from young to old will started to stick to him.Even he wants Megan Fox becoming his wife,I think it wouldn't be a problem.Life just so unfair but YES that's the fact!!ACCEPT IT
Third scenario,both of us did not wait for each others and found another "true love" and we manage to found and got married and live happily ever after.Like stories in Fairy Tales.
Last but not least, both of us waited for each other.I waited him to complete his Master and he waited me in becoming more mature and dependent and we realize that we are just made for each others and we got married.This is the most desirable ending however i don't think this would happen because I don't think that he love me anymore
"Do You Love Me" this is the hardest words i would ask him because i just cant accept the "NO" even i know his answer will be NO.
There are 3 type of love in this world family,Bf and friendship.I lose my BF but i still have family and friends with me throughout this tough time.I cried for uncountable time till i have swollen eyes however i know tears wouldn't bring someone back even if yes,he's just being nice and sympathy toward me....PLS IM NOT BEGGAR AND BEGGING FOR LOVE and that why I need to move on and build up my confidence level.....however this doesn't mean that i dont care for him...I will still care for him simply because i S-T-I-L-L love him.....just that i shouldn't frequently msg him or etc etc but my heart stil cares for him....maybe this sounds silly to u but for me,it so hard for me to stop caring for him because that what i did for the past 2 years plus plus..........however I m not a STALKER,if he feel offended with whatever i did and i will stop it at once no worries.
First scenario, I waited for him for years for him to back to my side,however he fall in love with another pretty girl and get married, by that time, my skin is suffering from skin aging,wrinkles,white hairs and etc.So nobody wants me and i need to go ShaoLin Temple to become nun and be a vegetarian for the rest of my life or Become a successful business woman,owned few trillions but live without love from the husband or sons/daughters *sooo dull*
Second scenario, he made up for his Master/Degree but I'm falling for another guys and got married.However his situations would be much better than mine because when a guy have few millions,there will be lots of pretty girls range from young to old will started to stick to him.Even he wants Megan Fox becoming his wife,I think it wouldn't be a problem.Life just so unfair but YES that's the fact!!ACCEPT IT
Third scenario,both of us did not wait for each others and found another "true love" and we manage to found and got married and live happily ever after.Like stories in Fairy Tales.
Last but not least, both of us waited for each other.I waited him to complete his Master and he waited me in becoming more mature and dependent and we realize that we are just made for each others and we got married.This is the most desirable ending however i don't think this would happen because I don't think that he love me anymore
"Do You Love Me" this is the hardest words i would ask him because i just cant accept the "NO" even i know his answer will be NO.
There are 3 type of love in this world family,Bf and friendship.I lose my BF but i still have family and friends with me throughout this tough time.I cried for uncountable time till i have swollen eyes however i know tears wouldn't bring someone back even if yes,he's just being nice and sympathy toward me....PLS IM NOT BEGGAR AND BEGGING FOR LOVE and that why I need to move on and build up my confidence level.....however this doesn't mean that i dont care for him...I will still care for him simply because i S-T-I-L-L love him.....just that i shouldn't frequently msg him or etc etc but my heart stil cares for him....maybe this sounds silly to u but for me,it so hard for me to stop caring for him because that what i did for the past 2 years plus plus..........however I m not a STALKER,if he feel offended with whatever i did and i will stop it at once no worries.
Friday, November 5, 2010
Broken heart
i was so down recently,i could hardly curve a smile on my face.....i almost skipped one week classes which it's nvr happen before.....because of assignment and my emotions...
this incident happened last Sunday,i could hardly accept that he is no longer be by my side but i still keep trying but ended the same and now i gave up...but i really need time to cope with whatever happening now simply because I M HUMAN and i do have feeling...i couldn't just let go easily because i still love him very much....
God please stop fooling me around...i had enough of losing my precious things...please don't fool me anymore............................
thanks for the support gals and guys, u know who u are....im so sorry if i disappoint u guys....
this incident happened last Sunday,i could hardly accept that he is no longer be by my side but i still keep trying but ended the same and now i gave up...but i really need time to cope with whatever happening now simply because I M HUMAN and i do have feeling...i couldn't just let go easily because i still love him very much....
God please stop fooling me around...i had enough of losing my precious things...please don't fool me anymore............................
thanks for the support gals and guys, u know who u are....im so sorry if i disappoint u guys....
Thursday, October 7, 2010
@@
ytd result released...i could never believe what i seen on the screen....i din fail any sub yet the result was far beyond my expectations.....and of cuz im satisfied with that....hope i can do better in this sem....
when i was about to check my result and my mom sat beside me and look at the screen together with me..she do not know what exactly happening and just look at the screen and then result was out...and she saw it...and she asked me bout UK thingy..at first i was so firm with my decision of nt going to UK...there is billion of YEs to go to UK as i wishes to travel to overseas and of cuz UK cert is better than Msia and just one step ahead in becoming degree holder...but the NO part is of cuz financial problem....30k loan from KOJADI ended up paying ard 50K plus ptptn loan total 63k leh...
depend on my 3rd sem result if it achieve 3.3 den i go :)
sometimes i feel that i being soooo naggy but that for ur good and i dun wish to be like ur parent nagging u all de way but the thing is u keep repeating the same things and i want u to excel and graduate with master and be a billionaire as u always wanted.Keep remind u and remind u and u think that im just so fucking troublesome and nagging like a old lady...do u ever think back?u think i m nt heartache that u failed one of ur sub?? and keep encouraging u that u can and WILL do well in 3rd sem...:) telling u not to work but u just love to go against me :( im speechless.....even how ur frens said sth that hurt u and show them that they are totally wrong and tell urself that accept the fact and learn from ur failure :( nvr look down by other and i believe u can do it...juz ignore whatever those bastards says and keep going.....
that's all :(
when i was about to check my result and my mom sat beside me and look at the screen together with me..she do not know what exactly happening and just look at the screen and then result was out...and she saw it...and she asked me bout UK thingy..at first i was so firm with my decision of nt going to UK...there is billion of YEs to go to UK as i wishes to travel to overseas and of cuz UK cert is better than Msia and just one step ahead in becoming degree holder...but the NO part is of cuz financial problem....30k loan from KOJADI ended up paying ard 50K plus ptptn loan total 63k leh...
depend on my 3rd sem result if it achieve 3.3 den i go :)
sometimes i feel that i being soooo naggy but that for ur good and i dun wish to be like ur parent nagging u all de way but the thing is u keep repeating the same things and i want u to excel and graduate with master and be a billionaire as u always wanted.Keep remind u and remind u and u think that im just so fucking troublesome and nagging like a old lady...do u ever think back?u think i m nt heartache that u failed one of ur sub?? and keep encouraging u that u can and WILL do well in 3rd sem...:) telling u not to work but u just love to go against me :( im speechless.....even how ur frens said sth that hurt u and show them that they are totally wrong and tell urself that accept the fact and learn from ur failure :( nvr look down by other and i believe u can do it...juz ignore whatever those bastards says and keep going.....
that's all :(
Monday, September 27, 2010
T.T
This few days i m still moody bout the lost of my mini hp...im freaking sad......but no one would ever understand the pain inside me.....sad because of the laptop and some internal stuffs and the sadden me the most is he said to me he's not interested in my family issues......i just wanted to tell u everything and yet u giving me that kind of response.....im so lost.........just feel so helpless.....
Thursday, September 23, 2010
speechless
after my cam and my mp3 got stolen inside my house and I still calm and not to blame anyone bout it...everytime my mom ask me to hide my laptop and i find it weird because this is my house and who will steal my thing? but now my HP mini gone for no reasons..i dont know who do it...but there is no sign break in and de only thing gone is de Mini laptop...everyone is off to work except one fella....and i m not sure if he at home that time.....
but since this is de second time happen why i cant ask dem rather than asking me to shut my mouth
so what buy me another mini? and this will continuously happen even buy me 10th mini this will happened over again.....
i being generous to let my sis to use de laptop since it's free but it worth 1k plus ok...she dont seem appreciating the gift..within few weeks there are few scratches on the adapter.The Mini is always in my house and she din take it along with her when she is work and can u tell me why it's stolen even there is no sign of break in and i remember that day the keys are all taken away...tell me please who steal it?
i m sad seriously....other than the Mini and my family....my mom is always unfair to my sis....Even she ald got know who does it*i think* and she will still ask me to keep away from my dad because she dun1 my dad angry....but did she ever think of my feeling?? my everything is taken away the only thing left is my laptop and i m not sure when it will be stolen as well...i m feel so insecure....but why everything happened and i m the one who need to keep my mouth shut!!!!! why??? those thing is I use my own money buy and since it's stolen away i want to know who steal it?that all my precious....i can forgive once but not TWICE...........
i don't feel like staying at home anymore.....
the fella everyday at home and waiting my parent to feed him...shame on u MAN!!! everyday at home online with the air cond on wtf....and my mom have to pack food for him and every nite he's joining us for dinner FREE FOOD.....his car my dad repair for him...change a new engine bla bla bla and in the end my dad loaded with debt....BUT my mom still on his side because he's my sis bf......
FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!
i got no proof that prove that he's the one who steal it......why this happening to me??what i did to you???
but since this is de second time happen why i cant ask dem rather than asking me to shut my mouth
so what buy me another mini? and this will continuously happen even buy me 10th mini this will happened over again.....
i being generous to let my sis to use de laptop since it's free but it worth 1k plus ok...she dont seem appreciating the gift..within few weeks there are few scratches on the adapter.The Mini is always in my house and she din take it along with her when she is work and can u tell me why it's stolen even there is no sign of break in and i remember that day the keys are all taken away...tell me please who steal it?
i m sad seriously....other than the Mini and my family....my mom is always unfair to my sis....Even she ald got know who does it*i think* and she will still ask me to keep away from my dad because she dun1 my dad angry....but did she ever think of my feeling?? my everything is taken away the only thing left is my laptop and i m not sure when it will be stolen as well...i m feel so insecure....but why everything happened and i m the one who need to keep my mouth shut!!!!! why??? those thing is I use my own money buy and since it's stolen away i want to know who steal it?that all my precious....i can forgive once but not TWICE...........
i don't feel like staying at home anymore.....
the fella everyday at home and waiting my parent to feed him...shame on u MAN!!! everyday at home online with the air cond on wtf....and my mom have to pack food for him and every nite he's joining us for dinner FREE FOOD.....his car my dad repair for him...change a new engine bla bla bla and in the end my dad loaded with debt....BUT my mom still on his side because he's my sis bf......
FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!
i got no proof that prove that he's the one who steal it......why this happening to me??what i did to you???
Sunday, April 18, 2010
~bad luck~
phew ever since my intern started...my bad luck came by rolling phew.....first of all i lost my camera, my mp3 and 200bucks + for no reasons and i duno how its happened and even no idea no stole it phew....sad case..luckily my beloved laptop stil here with me....feeling insecure for almost everyday when my laptop with me..duno when it will get stolen again and that why pass de laptop to yk....and now i get back my laptop for 1week and after this gonna pass this back to yk again til college reopen...
today i sat for my finance paper i conclude that it was pretty easy however i doubting if i manage to pass for it cuz all the theoretical answer i only manage to answer half of it phew..pray hard for it ba....
nth special happened eventually just i lost all my precious gadgets phew
my mp3 present from oyk on my 19th birtday
my camera present from mom because i keep urging her to get one for me
my 100bucks my hard earned money
another 100 + plus is my angpow money which i kept for n number of years and i also mm sheh tak wanna use it...who the fuck steal all my precious gadgets from me!!!!arghhh
oh yea and i been working part time here and there and for the very first time i experienced the suckest job compared to my previous job...tropicana twister at pwtc for smartkid fair...it was terrible when the people came to the booth and everyone is gasping for air and the oxygen is not enuf to support so many ppls in one time (joke) and i nearly fainted cuz running out of oxygen hahaha.....stand and squat for countless time..and bearing the "hong kong" legs of each children and i wonder why so young ald got so smelllllllyy de legs ewwwww.... the booth cannot support more than 100ppls at one time and thus the space is super limited..and no proper Q and ppl keep scolding me for not letting their children to play...Hey, i dont have thousand hands nor eyes and i wouldnt noe how come first and who cut Q because super packed inside de booth and i dont even have de time to sip one mouth of water and im super dehydrated and hot yet ppl yelling at me..pointing her fucking finger to me and her mouth keep barking like a dog....i stil controlling the situation and be patient not to scold her back....finally the air inside de "plastic" swimming pool "coming out" from it hahah de balls inside de pool falling to ground hahaha and i yelled for help but no1 hear me pathetic finally got supervisor come help me to pump back de pool...super bad luck his reaction like i m purposely to make it spoilt....since the "plastic" swimming pool is so fucking fragile den should set a proper Q and have a better coordination lor....the another worse part is we only have 20min breaks each not as promised 2hours..because the situation is really out of control and the boss should have hire more workers to facilitate the crowd....alwiz say want attract crowd but do u have enuf manpower to control the crowd...haha finish complaining....
that all for now ba.....have a nice day
today i sat for my finance paper i conclude that it was pretty easy however i doubting if i manage to pass for it cuz all the theoretical answer i only manage to answer half of it phew..pray hard for it ba....
nth special happened eventually just i lost all my precious gadgets phew
my mp3 present from oyk on my 19th birtday
my camera present from mom because i keep urging her to get one for me
my 100bucks my hard earned money
another 100 + plus is my angpow money which i kept for n number of years and i also mm sheh tak wanna use it...who the fuck steal all my precious gadgets from me!!!!arghhh
oh yea and i been working part time here and there and for the very first time i experienced the suckest job compared to my previous job...tropicana twister at pwtc for smartkid fair...it was terrible when the people came to the booth and everyone is gasping for air and the oxygen is not enuf to support so many ppls in one time (joke) and i nearly fainted cuz running out of oxygen hahaha.....stand and squat for countless time..and bearing the "hong kong" legs of each children and i wonder why so young ald got so smelllllllyy de legs ewwwww.... the booth cannot support more than 100ppls at one time and thus the space is super limited..and no proper Q and ppl keep scolding me for not letting their children to play...Hey, i dont have thousand hands nor eyes and i wouldnt noe how come first and who cut Q because super packed inside de booth and i dont even have de time to sip one mouth of water and im super dehydrated and hot yet ppl yelling at me..pointing her fucking finger to me and her mouth keep barking like a dog....i stil controlling the situation and be patient not to scold her back....finally the air inside de "plastic" swimming pool "coming out" from it hahah de balls inside de pool falling to ground hahaha and i yelled for help but no1 hear me pathetic finally got supervisor come help me to pump back de pool...super bad luck his reaction like i m purposely to make it spoilt....since the "plastic" swimming pool is so fucking fragile den should set a proper Q and have a better coordination lor....the another worse part is we only have 20min breaks each not as promised 2hours..because the situation is really out of control and the boss should have hire more workers to facilitate the crowd....alwiz say want attract crowd but do u have enuf manpower to control the crowd...haha finish complaining....
that all for now ba.....have a nice day
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